sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
