Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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