i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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