I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize