I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
