Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
