just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
