We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
