somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just had sex bonerless
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize