I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we're making bets on your personal life
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
