Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
