remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He felt like a one man threesome
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
