i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
