That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
