I think i sorta joined a cult last night
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize