I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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