I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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