so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
