I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
