Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
