I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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