Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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