Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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