Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
