I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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