She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
