hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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