Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize