smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
