I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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