he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize