I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
