Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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