singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
