i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
