We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
