no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
