My pussy is not your playground.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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