just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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