Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
