Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i think im in europe. pls send help
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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