You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
They have beer where we have blood.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
