if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
