I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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