I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize