do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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