Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
