I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
