You can't special order awesome
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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