dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
