he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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