Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
