don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
