yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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