My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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