did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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