You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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