i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
