I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
