I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
