i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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