We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
