I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize